Cardinal Football: 1,000 Total Yards, As Usual

SEPTEMBER 25, 2105

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[Spoiler Alert – we won! 39 – 27 over Brainerd. My first game of the season – not living up to my Cub Reporter billing – but our first home game was, to my sensibilities, winded out and the second was “wined” out (OK, competing party). But I wanted to report before the class of ’65 shows up for Homecoming next weekend. We are now 4 – 2 and seeded 2nd in the section.  Perfect night for football . . . replete with a full moon!]

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[The lonely vigil of the sports photographer . . .  ]

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[And here come your 2015 Alexandria Cardinals . . . led by the 6th-grade team, as I recall.]

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[The perilous vigil of the sports photographer . . . ]

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[It was introduce the seniors night – here are two of them.  The intrepid sports photographer is catching them from their best sides.]

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[It’s a stampede!!  Has anyone seen the sports photographer?]

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[And we have kick-off!!]

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[And high speed collisions of heavily armored bodies.]

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[Kim Kardashian!  Kim Kardashian! ]

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[The Kardashian play worked for a Cardinal touchdown.  Actually, the play call was a ruse. To the best of my knowledge, none of the Kardashians have ever appeared at a Cardinal football game.]

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[The offense is every bit as exciting as advertised. These two young men, quarterback Jaran Roste (1) and halfback Micah Christenson (22), both juniors, put on a good show. Micah rushed for 180 yards and I believe 4 TD’s, and Jaran rushed for 130 yards and passed for 180 (18 – 24) – I think those are right?  The sports photographer re-appeared in the background, a good sign for those of us who thought he may have been lost in the stampede.]

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[Is it a hand-off, a quarterback keeper?  Noooo, it’s a pass to the right flank!  The game plan obviously determined this was the way to go – running and short passes.]

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[A fake to Micah, Jaran drops back to pass . . . ]

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[I tossed a spheroid into the air, it came to earth I know not where? ]

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[The Cardinals sprint left; the Warriors sprint right.  All in total defiance of the laws of physics and those governing liquor sales in most states.]

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[The top photo shows the field’s relative proximity to Grand Arbor, appropriate since most Alexandrians have an older relative who lives there.  The bottom shows it’s a short pass to the right flank.  These passes didn’t gain a lot of yards, but they kept moving the chains in a direct violation of the Alien and Sedition Acts.]

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[Our Cards our moving goalward again.]

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[But the Warriors aren’t going down without a fight!]

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[Upon further review, it was determined that 6’5″ senior defensive end, Henry Wirtjes (80), did indeed deflect this pass attempt by the Warriors’ Chris Pederson (2), also tall, and who appeared to play every position.]

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[At the quarter, looks like a ballgame (as opposed to what, I have no idea?).]

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[Cards on offense – count the number of prime numbers on the sideline?]

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[A long bomb that was launched above the top of the stadium.  I do not believe the attempt was successful, but it was close and served the same purpose as the high, inside fastball.]

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[Ooops, people are falling down.]

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[Pretty dark now, photography gets  ragged.  Appears to be a Cardinal touchdown!]

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[Here we come again.  I believe this was a 3rd-and-long situation on which we made a huge play for another Cardinal . . . FIRST DOWN!]

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[I have no idea what’s going on here . . . suggestions?]

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[We did good!]

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[This is a scoreboard.  It shows us to be ahead by one at the half.  The Cards scored with a little over a minute left, but that was enough time left for the Warriors to come back and put a TD on top of ours!  Uffda!   This is also a flag.  It lets all the players know what country they’re in and from which direction the wind is blowing.]

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[As I am prone to say, then the real athletes come out and perform during halftime.]

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[In the 2nd half, there appears to be a hole available for Micah (22).  And he really just glides through them – fun to watch!]

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[Senior wide receiver Brayden Amundsen (7) got nicked late in the first half – appeared to be a high right ankle sprain.  He did not play again.  Senior wide receive Tom Whiting also got hurt and did not play in the 2nd half.  I believe they have been our two top receivers, which may explain the emphasis on the running game.  I hope they’re not out long?]

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[Micah on the run again with another TD (I think) – he somehow squirms out of traffic.]

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[Jaran has obviously just released a pass.  The Warriors had two early turnovers in the 2nd half, and we turned them both into touchdowns on our first plays.  That pretty much wrapped up the game.]

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[A pass is airborne again . . . ]

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[Touchdown . . . touchdown . . . and game over.  Lots of offense, the Cards had about 520 yards, the Warriors about 440.  That’s pretty much been the pattern the last four games. Now looking forward to Homecoming next weekend!]

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.  ~  Lana Turner

Up next:  Not a clue?

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